Anyone who has ever lost a loved one (which means just about all of us) can find hope in Jesus' resurrection and the idea that "all will be made alive in Christ," as St. Paul writes. Yet the grief of separation can overpower our belief that our loved one is not really gone but has rather moved on to a new life with God. Sometimes when this happens, God sends us a pinpoint of light in the darkness to renew our spirits. That was the case with actress/writer Bonnie Hunt, who is known for classic films, such as Cheaper by the Dozen, Jumanji, and Return to Me. I shared this story a few years ago, but it bears repeating because grief is a common human experience.
Bonnie grew up in a large Catholic family in Chicago. Though she wanted to pursue a career in Hollywood, she entered nursing school at the encouragement of her beloved father, Bob. When Bob shockingly suffered a heart attack and died at age 50, Bonnie endured near-total despair and anger at God. She also decided to quit nursing school. Her motivation for that career died with her dad. Bonnie's mom, Alice, convinced her to give it one more week in Bob's honor.
On her first day back, one of Bonnie's nursing instructors told her, "You know, Hunt, you're not the only person whose father ever died, so you've got to buck up. . . . You can't be telling people what's going on in your life." Though Bonnie accepted these orders, inside she felt pained at the heartlessness of the instructor's comments. Bonnie was then assigned to a patient named Mr. O'Brien. He cheerfully called her "my Bonnie lass" and told her he had terminal cancer. Bonnie was taken aback by how casually he spoke of his own impending death, but Mr. O'Brien explained, "I feel lucky to have cancer. . . . I'm Irish, and there's a lot we don't say to our families. . . . But now I've been able to tell my boys [and my bride] how much I love them. . . . I had a friend who died suddenly, and he'd always talk about his kids as his greatest accomplishment. He didn't get to say goodbye, and I'm getting that opportunity."
Bonnie developed a deep affection for Mr. O'Brien, so when she learned he worked at the Board of Education, which was where her father had worked, she broke the rules her instructor had given her and asked him if he knew Bob Hunt. Mr. O'Brien touched Bonnie's arm, saying, "That's the man who died suddenly that I've been speaking about." Bonnie and Mr. O'Brien cried together about the loss of Bob and this unlikely connection between the two of them. She decided she couldn't leave Mr. O'Brien, so she stayed his student nurse until his death a few months later.
Bonnie reflected, "When I look back at my life, becoming a nurse defined me in so many ways and gave me a more thoughtful approach to my life. And patients gave me a deep perspective. I believe in divine intervention because I think my Dad got to heaven and said, 'Don't let her go to Hollywood! Don't let her leave nursing school! Can we find anyone within a five-mile vicinity that could stop her?!' Somehow, they found this one patient out of 500. I mean, I was [only] assigned one patient!" That connection also helped Bonnie resolve her anger at God and realize that her father was still looking out for her after all.
This essay is a recent "Light One Candle"
column by Tony Rossi, Director of Communications, The Christophers; it is one of a series of
weekly columns that deal with a variety of topics and current
events.
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