Theology Lesson in Sister's Love

When writer Delaney Coyne set out to explore the Catholic Church's ministries to people with intellectual and developmental disabilities, she approached the topic with firsthand knowledge. Her younger sister, Charlotte, has an intellectual disability. As they were growing up together, Delaney witnessed the challenges and victories that Charlotte experienced when it came to learning and practicing her faith. That made Delaney wonder how the Church was currently meeting the needs of this sometimes-overlooked community.

During a Christopher Closeup interview, Delaney told me that Charlotte, now age 21, "is in a transition program through the public school in the state of Illinois. . . . She loves going to church. She loves finding community with her peers. She's super social. At our parish, there's a special friends Mass that she loves attending. She's also involved in the community of Misericordia, which is a home for people with disabilities in Illinois. She's not a resident, but she . . . goes to their events and makes friends there, and it's really lovely."

There were some bumps along the road, however. For instance, Charlotte experiences severe anxiety about going to the front of the church in front of other people. So, on the day of her Confirmation, she ran out of the church because she did not want to receive the sacrament. Her family followed her, as did the bishop, who forcibly anointed her with oil in the hallway while she screamed, "No, I don't want!"

Delaney recalled the incident, noting, "I've come to a kind of compassion for the bishop. I still think what he did was wrong. It is not in line with the guidelines for the celebration of the sacraments with people with disabilities, but I don't think he totally knew what to do in that moment because this has not always been the top priority of our Church. We haven't always put people with disabilities at the center."

That incident also challenged Delaney's faith because she came to see the Church as being too rigid. Charlotte, however, provided the theology lesson Delaney needed to find her connection to God again: "Charlotte reminds me that there's something a lot deeper to faith than just knowledge. My background is in academic theology. . . . It's beautiful, but that's not what faith is, in and of itself. You have this in Joseph Ratzinger's Intro to Christianity. . . . '[Faith is] an encounter with the man, Jesus, and in this encounter, it experiences the meaning of the world as a person. If it's strengthened by intellectual pursuit, that's wonderful. Knowledge can be liberating. It has been in my own experience, but it's not the only way. This very cognitive model of faith has been limiting for our brothers and sisters with intellectual disabilities."

"My sister does not want to receive the Eucharist," Delaney continued. "She engages with the faith in a different way than I do. She's often a much better Christian than I am. She sees the good in everyone. She shows love to everyone, and she's open to love. It reminds me to break from my own rigidity and see the mystery of God's abundant love. So, my image of faith and image of the Church was bound up in my relationship with my sister. I came to know God through going to church with my family and sitting next to her, and I learned who God is and what love is. It reminded me that there's this real power of unity in diversity. There's no one way to be a Catholic Christian."

This essay is a recent "Light One Candle" column by Tony Rossi, Director of Communications, The Christophers; it is one of a series of weekly columns that deal with a variety of topics and current events.

Background information:

The Christophers