As we celebrate Thanksgiving, I can’t help but think of a TV show I watched over the summer: season two of the documentary TV series NY Med (season one won a 2013 Christopher Award). In case you’re not familiar with it, producers took cameras into New York Presbyterian Hospital and Newark’s University Hospital. There, they acted as invisible observers, providing a window into the perils, tensions, and comic moments that constitute everyday life for doctors, nurses, and patients.
So what does that have to do with Thanksgiving? Well, the holiday’s purpose is expressing gratitude for our blessings. But with the busyness of modern life, we sometimes need reminders of how precious our loved ones really are. And boy, does NY Med bring that truth home!
Consider the case of Chris Molnar, a 19-year-old who went through basic training as a Marine only to come home on leave and suffer a stroke. Doctors discovered that Molnar suffers from a severe cardiac disease that enlarged his heart to five times its normal size. As a stopgap measure, they surgically implanted a pump that would help his heart function, but recovery was so uncertain that doctors and the hospital chaplain told his parents and sisters to prepare themselves for his passing.
Though Molnar survived that incident, he was told he needed a heart transplant in order to live. NY Med’s crew followed his family’s journey, and the conflicting emotions of this sad predicament. For instance, Molnar’s mom admitted, “The bottom line is that somebody else has to die so that he can live, and it feels a little selfish.”
Still, the call comes that a heart has become available, and we get to see both the surgery itself and the family’s excruciating wait for news. Watching the Molnars pull together during this time offers a reminder that love becomes more deep and intense when you’re threatened with its loss. Thankfully, this story has a happy ending. Chris pulled through and is doing well with his new heart.
Another example is the story of Rita Respass-Brown, whose kidneys were functioning at only six percent. She would need a transplant in order to stay alive. When her 24-year-old son Tony heard the news, he got tested to see if his kidney would be a match for his mom. It was a perfect match, so he told her that he would be her donor. Rita felt reluctant because she didn’t want Tony to make such a big sacrifice for her. But he asked her, “Mom, what does it mean to you for someone to give you a kidney?” Rita responded, “Life!”
Tony answered, “That’s why I’m going to give you my kidney. You gave me life - and you don’t have the right to deny me the ability to do for you what you did for me.” The transplant went well, giving both mother and son a new appreciation for each other.
As you celebrate Thanksgiving with your family this year, remember to look at the people you love through the eyes of gratitude. Our culture may tell you that happiness is grounded in great Black Friday sales. But as NY Med reminds us, happiness is found in much simpler, less financially costly things: showing love to family, friends, and strangers; seeking fulfillment in helping others; being grateful for all your blessings; and using the pain in your life to make you a better, more compassionate person. If you pursue those avenues in your life, with the grace of God, you’ll always have something to be truly thankful for.
(This essay is this week's “Light One Candle” column, written by Tony Rossi, of The Christophers; it is one of a series of weekly columns that deal with a variety of topics and current events.)
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