13 February 2022

Msgr. Pope on Expectations of Ideal Marriage vis-à-vis Real Marriage

". . . Those who seek to strengthen Holy Matrimony and stem the tide of failed marriages propose many remedies, among them better catechesis, improved marriage preparation, and greater emphasis on the sacrament in sermons. All of these are fine ideas and necessary steps, but let's also ponder a deep but often unexplored root of the trouble with marriage today: idealism or unrealistic expectations.

"Although we live in cynical times, many people still hold a highly idealistic view of marriage: that it should be romantic, joyful, loving, and happy all the time. It is an ideal rooted in the dreamy wishes of romantic longing, but an ideal nonetheless. Amor omnia vincit! (Love conquers all!) Surely, we will live happily ever after the way every story says!

"Here's the problem: Many want their marriage to be ideal, and if there is any ordeal, they want a new deal. Yes, many are wandering about thinking, 'I still haven't found what I'm looking for,' to borrow from a U2 song."

In a recent commentary, Monsignor Charles Pope (pastor of Holy Comforter-Saint Cyprian Parish, Washington, DC) reflected on how, like the graces of any sacrament, those of Holy Matrimony are necessary because things are oftentimes difficult and how marriage is meant to sanctify. "Like baptism, it offers graces that unfold gradually. The graces unfold to the degree that, and at the speed with which, the couple cooperates with God's work."

To access Msgr. Pope's complete post, please visit:

Community in Mission: How Does Idealism and Perfectionism Negatively Affect Marriage? (6 FEB 22)

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