Around the time I turned 40, I realized that once the calendar hits September 1st, the days until the end of the year fly by at a rapid pace. This wasn't the case, of course, when I was a kid. The wait until the opening of presents on Christmas Eve seemed endless. But age brings a new perspective, right? Whereas then, I wanted life to speed up, now I'd love it to slow down a little. Unfortunately, I have no say in the matter, and here we are, already on the brink of another new year.
I can't help but think back to my childhood and my elderly aunts and uncles (at least they seemed elderly at the time). When the new year or a birthday approached, they would say, "So long as you've got your health, you've got everything." I didn't understand that sentiment at the time. Sure, good health is nice, but a new Atari videogame is pretty great, too! Now, after a year with a root canal, a slowly-healing sprain, and other minor medical issues, their words ring more true than ever! Plus, as a caregiver for my mother with dementia, challenges are never far away.
So, where does God fit into the picture? If I'm being truthful, I have to admit He has left me frustrated more than once. There are problems it would be easy for Him to fix, and yet He doesn't do so. I'm not talking about major medical healings; just small things. Those are the days when faith becomes a choice more than a feeling. It's nice to feel that spiritual connection with something bigger than myself - and I still do at times - but there are also hours or days when it feels absent.
That's where perspective comes in, where the concept of lighting a candle rather than cursing the darkness is a key to moving forward. Do I have problems? Absolutely! But you have problems, too, don't you? They're probably different from mine, but they still add stress to your life. Those are the moments when it's important to count your blessings and not just dwell on your difficulties. I've got a roof over my head, food on my table, a good job, decent health insurance, etc. On the days when frustrations threaten to overwhelm, I have to make a conscious choice to focus on the things for which I have to be grateful. No, it doesn't make everything better or my problems go away. But it does make a difference. Maybe the same can be said in your life.
So, as 2025 quickly approaches, I can't help but think of a New York Times article by Melissa Kirsch, who asked readers to send in the best advice they had received during the past year. Here are a few of the answers she received: 1) "Keep a running list of the nicest things anyone has ever said to or about you. It's a lifesaver on days when the world is getting the best of you." 2) "Life is too short not to tell the people you love that you love them." 3) "Instead of calling someone out, call them in: Invite them into a judgment-free conversation with the intention of promoting understanding."
I'll add my own and say: do your best not to dwell on negative emotions that drain the joy out of life. And do something that makes you smile. We're all getting older. We might as well make the best of it. Happy new year.
This essay is a recent "Light One Candle"
column by Tony Rossi, Director of Communications, The Christophers; it is one of a series of
weekly columns that deal with a variety of topics and current
events.
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