Reflection on Saint Thomas

Saturday was the feast of Saint Thomas the Apostle.

Here is a reflection from a homily by Father John Denburger, OCSO, given on that day - a meditation from a point of view I don't think I've considered before (Fr. Denburger is a  Trappist priest from the Abbey of the Genesee in Piffard, NY.):

"Thomas had missed out badly; he was somewhere else when Jesus appeared to the disciples. We are not told where. Perhaps, in his grief he had to get away from the others; the atmosphere in that upper room had become so heavy that it was unbearable. When he was told of Jesus appearance, Thomas was dumbfounded. I think he was also angry, embarrassed and like a child stamping his foot, he made his demand. 'Unless I see, unless I touch....I will not believe!'

"Now eight days later, Thomas is present and Jesus takes up his challenge: 'Thomas, put your finger here..bring your hand...put it in my side!' I think poor Thomas was ready to die of fright at that moment. The gospel account does not tell us if Thomas touched the Lord but we do hear his response - one of awe, one of belief: 'My Lord and my God!'

"There is a period of eight days separating those two events; I can help but wonder what went on between Thomas and the others during that time. Did he hide? Did they take him aside, badger him, try to prove that Jesus had appeared to them? What was going through Thomas’s mind? Did he wonder if he would ever see Jesus as they supposedly had? It could have happened that in a kind of despair that he went off by himself never to return.

"In all this there is a lesson or two we might learn for our own faith journey. The Lord did not appear immediately to Thomas even with his demand. God is not a puppet we control or a lackey who jumps at our every wish. God in His wisdom comes when He wills, answers how He wills. And in the waiting we learn what it means to believe, what it means to trust. In the Rule of Saint Benedict, the monastery is called a school of the Lord’s service - and school is not always easy. There are difficult lessons that take time, patience and above all, reliance on God’s grace. As believers, we are always in the school of the Lord’s service. Graduation only comes with death!

"I would like to believe that sometime later Thomas came to see that the Lord had sustained him during those days of waiting. I would like to believe that Thomas realized that it was the grace of the Risen Lord that brought him back to that room. Unseen, the Lord was present all along, leading Thomas out of his anger, his embarrassment into a deeper faith and a more profound peace.

"In our journey of faith, may we come to see, to know deeply that all along our own unique journey, the unseen Lord is leading us, gracing us with faith and hope. Here in this Mass, very shortly, you and I will touch the Lord and He will touch us in Holy Communion - this is never a casual touch. It is much much more - we place our lives in Him and He places His life in us. Like Thomas brought to the room on the eighth day, so the Lord has brought us here for this most sacred act. Of that, there is no doubt! 'Harden not your hearts.' (Ps 95) Can you hear His voice: 'But who do you say that I am?'"

For more information about the Abbey of the Genesee (Order of Cistercians of the Strict Observance), visit:

     Abbey of the Genesee