"Just for today, I will not try to improve or regulate someone else. (Al-Anon's 'Just for Today' bookmark)
"Shortly after I got married, a friend who had been married for years
said to me, with a wry smile, 'The trouble with marriage is women hope
it's going to change their husband, while men hope it won't change their
wife - and both are disappointed!'
After we laughed, he said, 'The key to marital success is, first love each other as is, warts and all. Then each work to change yourself to be better for the other. Only then can real influence begin.'
"The human compulsion to control others' lives, for better or for
worse, wreaks havoc when it's not informed by freedom-honoring love.
Love does not coerce or manipulate others - through shame, guilt,
deception, or fear - to become what we want them to be or think they
should be. Love proposes, never imposes. The 'otherness' of others can
be all-at-once painful to accept and a joie de vivre. Live in the tension."
In a recent commentary, Dr. Tom Neal, Academic Dean and Professor of Spiritual Theology at Notre Dame Seminary, New Orleans, LA, reflected on the importance of loving someone without trying to improve or regulate him/her.
To access Dr. Neal's complete post, please visit:
Word on Fire: If You Love Somebody, If You Love Someone… (15 JAN 19)
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